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How to Have a Family Reset Meeting

In this time of unprecedented constant togetherness, a lot of families that we are working with are in need of hitting the reset button.

Perhaps your family wasn’t quite ready for your child to transition home from a wilderness program or a therapeutic boarding school, or maybe it’s been an adjustment to have your college-aged child living at home, again.

None of us were prepared for this kind of family lockdown overnight and many of the habits we’ve fallen into after 4 weeks were created haphazardly rather than with intention.

Without a real answer around how long we’re going to be sheltering in place, we are hearing the need for families to hit the reset button and redefine what daily life looks like for the near future.

Enter the need for the “What’s going Well Meeting”.

This is one of our favorite ways to help families reconnect and foster an environment that’s conducive to a variety of sometimes conflicting needs.

And while the dirty dishes in the sink, laundry on the floor and the Xbox setup that’s taken over the house have made you less than charitable in your desire to focus on what’s going well, it’s actually a more effective method than a reactive response when irritations are boiling over.

With the default tendency to focus on the struggles, the “What’s Going Well Meeting” carves out protected time to recognize each other’s strengths. This creates a collaborative rather than a combative way to reset.

In this video, Solutions Parenting Support co-founder and parenting expert, Hilary Moses, teaches you how to have a family reset with a What’s Going Well Meeting.

familyresetmeeting from Hilary Moses on Vimeo.

Here are a few extra tips to go along with the video:

Commit to conducting the What’s Going Well meeting weekly or increase to twice a week during exceptionally difficult times. Keep the meeting brief and thoughtful.

  1. Each person talks about a skill, strength or trait that they have seen in themselves over the past week that is helping things go well.
    Example: I used patience and perspective this week when frustrated with so and so, which helped keep the situation from escalating

  2. Each person shares 1 thing that they have seen in 1 other person in the family that has helped things go well.
    Ex: I saw mom manage her anxiety carefully and it helped things feel calmer at home.

  3. Each person talks about something that is coming up or that could come up over the next few days that could benefit from the skills stated in #1.
    I have to do chores this weekend before going out and, if I practice perspective, it will keep me from getting too frustrated and still able to enjoy things.

Remember this process might be a bit bumpy, at first. The goal is not to have the kids be high-functioning 45-year olds immediately after the meeting.

They might still make mistakes or need reminders, but following through with the weekly format will enable the family to work together to leverage strengths and find solutions that are helpful to the entire family.

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Solutions Parenting Support, LLC is a nationally recognized parent support and transition program assisting parents and families with straightforward and compassionate skills based support prior to, during and after wilderness therapy and/or residential treatment. Solutions is a dynamic team of parent coaches who have had extensive careers as therapists in wilderness therapy or residential treatment before turning their talents towards coaching parents around the globe. The team is family system focused and are licensed professional therapists and/or social workers each with 15-30 years of experience working in wilderness therapy programs, varying levels of residential treatment programming, and transitional support.

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