As the holiday season approaches, many of us are thinking ahead—not just about the usual shopping, cooking, and celebrations, but also about how to keep our families grounded and connected during what can sometimes be a chaotic time.

Parenting teens and young adults with mental health and behavioral health challenges brings its own unique set of hurdles, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. That’s why, this month, we’re focusing on small, actionable steps that can help parents better manage the day-to-day challenges, especially when life feels a little extra hectic.

We talk a lot about conscious decision-making in our coaching. Simply put, being conscious means being aware—awake to the present moment, making decisions with a wise mind that balances both the practical and the emotional. This is one of the guiding principles we dive into in our book, H.O.M.E.: Strategies for Making Home a Success During and After Treatment.

As a parent, developing a “parenting gut” that’s rooted in a balanced, wise-minded approach can be a game changer. This doesn’t mean you’ll always have perfect foresight or know the right answer every time, but it helps you make decisions that are aligned with the well-being of your family. And when you trust your gut, it’s easier to follow through, even when things feel uncertain.

Predicting What You Can: Prepping for the Holidays

Take, for example, the whirlwind of events that tends to show up around the holidays—family gatherings, work parties, friend get-togethers. We encourage parents in challenging situations to take a step back and think about what’s refueling versus what’s draining. If you’re looking to manage your family’s energy levels and emotional bandwidth, consider saying "yes" only to what brings joy, not just out of obligation.

The holidays often come with a sense of duty that can feel overwhelming, especially when there’s a mix of your own desires, your partner’s, and your kids’ needs. The key here is to find a balance—not prioritizing one over the other, but taking into account the needs and well-being of the whole family. If there’s an event that doesn’t feel like a good fit, chances are your teen or young adult might feel the same way. It’s okay to be honest about that. And even if you have to attend something that feels obligatory, remember that you can still show up with grace and a positive mindset, which can make all the difference in how everyone feels afterward.

Mindful Gift-Giving: The Tech Dilemma

Now, let’s talk about one of the trickier aspects of the holidays: gift-giving. While it’s easy to get swept up in the latest gadgets and trends, we encourage parents to really think through what they’re gifting their kids. If you’ve been feeling frustrated by how much time your kids spend on screens, then perhaps a shiny new tech gift isn’t the best choice this year. Instead, why not give something that encourages them to unplug or engage in something more creative, social, or active? When our kids were about 14, we shifted away from gifts (other than some clothes) and toward experiences that they would enjoy, whether with their friends or with family. Thoughtful, conscious decision-making when it comes to gifts can go a long way in creating a healthier family dynamic.

Making Conscious Decisions in the Day-to-Day

Conscious decision-making isn’t just a tool for big events like the holidays—it can be helpful in the day-to-day as well. Take a moment to reflect on the small decisions you make in the heat of the moment. For example, let’s say your partner forgets something on the grocery list. You could choose to make a big deal out of it and let frustration spill out, or you could pause and consciously decide to let it go. That pause—however brief—can shift the energy in your home and prevent unnecessary conflict. You might find that taking a moment to choose how you respond has a big impact on your relationships, both with your partner and with yourself.

On the flip side, conscious decision-making can also enhance the positive moments. When your family reaches a milestone or simply shares a quiet, enjoyable moment, pause. Really take it in and savor the experience. Studies show that practicing gratitude and mindfulness in these moments can boost mental resilience and increase joy over time.

In Summary

As we head into the holiday season (and beyond), conscious decision-making can be an invaluable tool for parents navigating the ups and downs of family life. Whether you’re trying to manage your family’s emotional energy, make decisions around events, or approach the season of gift-giving with intention, small, mindful choices can make a big difference in the overall well-being of your family.

Remember, you can’t predict or control everything, but you can prepare. By staying aware, trusting your instincts, and making decisions with both your heart and your head, you’ll be better equipped to handle both the challenging and the celebratory moments. And that, in turn, can make your family’s holiday season—and every day leading up to it—just a little bit smoother.

Interested in more? Check out more blogs for the holiday season.