Your Parenting Survival Guide

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3 Ways to Help Your Struggling Teen or Young Adult

1) Claim rather than blame

Your family is more than the sum of its individual parts. The first way in which you can help your struggling teen is to understand that families are interdependent and interconnected systems.  Like the parts of a clock, the functionality of the entire family is affected by the health of its individual members. Focusing only on your child’s behavior won’t create long-term health and well being in the family as a whole. If you want to help your struggling teen, then you need to shift from a “blame” to a “claim” mentality and begin to be aware of where your own growth can also occur.

2. Don’t Take the Bait

A common way for a struggling teen or young adult to deflect their own bad behavior and avoid accountability for breaking parental boundaries is by getting one parent to “take the bait.”  When a parent takes the bait, the child is able to strategically divert attention away from their wrong doing and instead blame the parent. In this video, Hilary gives a simple example as to how a struggling teen can get a parent to “take the bait” and how that further perpetuates family dysfunction.

3. Connect now, Correct later

In this third video, Hilary offers parents an alternative for how to parent without “taking the bait.” She gives concrete examples on how to  focus on the solution (instead of the bait), in a constructive way at the appropriate time.

Rather than focusing on tools for changing your child’s behavior, at Solutions Parenting Support we help you put your energy toward the only behaviors over which you have complete control: your own.

By focusing on what you can control, rather than on what you can’t control, we put you on the path to significant systemic change. Our parents are often surprised that in changing their response to a challenging situation, their child’s reactions frequently change, as well.

“Our family would not have healed and reconnected as well as we have without the advice and support of Solutions Parenting Services.”  -Client/Parent

To learn more about how you can work with Solutions Parenting Support through our one-on-one coaching services or our online courses and support groups:

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